so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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