somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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