I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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