Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
