Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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