Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
