I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
