In the future we'll all be gay
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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