my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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