who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
