I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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