Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
