My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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