Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
