My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Randomize
