I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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