she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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