I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
