I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Dignity is for republicans.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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