member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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