i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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