Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
