yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
