this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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