try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
