She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
