you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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