so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
