Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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