my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
