I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
