Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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