He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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