Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
