Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
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