A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
