just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
