Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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