Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Enjoy the penises
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
