I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
