So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
