dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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