so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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