Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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