Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
