Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
