hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
