so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
