This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
