What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
